She was my older sister… Now she became my baby

 She was my older sister… Now she became my baby
There is no way to forget that photo. Date May 31st
The first days of gezi protests…
The result of an act where even the prime minister accepts unproportionate violance was used…
Tents were burned, tear gas attack executed and as a result a girl with red shirt and blue shorts lying on the ground
Lobna Allami.
She was hit by a tear gas canister on the head, she fell, blood pouring from back of her head.
You ask what happened after that photo engraved to our memories?
24 days in coma.
Two braing surgeries.
Days and nigths
passing with the fear
will she wake, will she live…
Thank god Lobna is alive.
But she is paralized on one side, she can't use her arm, she can't talk, there is damage on her brain…
I cried when I listened to the tale of two sisters…
I can't find what to say to the fact that
this family wasn't even called to say "Get well soon".
I want to cry even more.
Your name?
- Fatin Allami.
Age?
- 32.


Why are you on Taksim First Aid Hospital?
- On May 31st there was the press anouncement of DİSK (workers union) on Gezi. It was a sitting protest. There were no resistance. People were just sitting on the ground. Suddenly, tear gas attack started. Everybody fled somewhere. When the place got calmer, they found a girl lying on the ground, a girl with shorts and red shirt. Blood was pouring from her head. That girl was my big sister Lobna. She stayed in coma for 25 days, had two brain surgeries. That's why I'm here…
WE ARE SIMPLY JUST TURK
Are you from Palestinian origin?
- Not even remotely, we are Turk. Our father is from Jordan, our mother is Turk. The story is actually as follows: My grandmother is Fatma Gülfidanağa from Eminönü. She went to Palestine while she was 14 with her dad. Her dad was the governor for Ottoman Empire. During those time Palestine was Ottoman soil. Her father gets sick and dies. My grandmother stays there. She marries my circassian grandfather, they have kids. They immigrate to Jordan in 1948 with other immigrants. Years laters my grandmother returned home and died here, even her grave is here. We are simply just Turk!
And your mother?
- She marries with my father at Jordan. After she divorces him, she takes me and my older sister and returns to Turkey.


When did you come?
- I was 12, Lobna was 14.
Did you feel like an outsider?
- Not at all. We are not 'foreigners'. I know Arabic but we dream in Turkish. We speak Turkish when we are alone. Our boyfriends are Turk. We like to eat olive oil based meals. We eat Ezine cheese in the morning. We put our bread to olive oil with oregano. Lobna has been called "tourist". She has been called "foreigner". I don't know why they did this; would that be a valid reason for her to be shot on the head with canister…
What kind of life, did you build to yourselves?
- My mom is a graduate of Arabic language, literature and Islamic history. When she got a job on Libyan embassy we moved to Ankara.
What did you study?
- I graduated from Ankara political sciences. I studied political sciences and public administration.
Lobna?
- She is a philosophy graduate from ODTÜ, then she got master's degree from ODTÜ in human resources .


As two sisters how were you getting along?
- We were two very similar and interacting sisters. My mom, Labna and I, all three of us, we have strong characters. It might seem as if we have a relationship with conflicts but we are bound together with a great love.
ODTÜ PHILOSOPHY GRADUATE
What kind of person Lobna is?
- Idealist and emotional. She likes to travel, she rides horses, swims, scuba dives, sky dives but afraid of planes, she cleans forests from garbage, cleans beaches, she takes wounded cats on the streets to veterinary, she takes care of them, feeds them. She is compassionate. She can't get angry with elderly. She likes kids a lot. But wherever there is injustice, she raises her voice. If in Gazza there is injustice against Palestinians, Lobna go on hunger strike there. Somebody self-immolates on Tunisia, Lobna cries for him there. She got a master's degree in human resources, and worked on this field for a few years. But it wasn't compatible with her soul, she was fond of dancing and music. While in ODTÜ she was member of Contemporary Dance Society. She is socialist. She speaks four languages. She worked on NGOs, then went to Berlin…
What she was doing there?
- She was working for a company organising festivals. She was promoting Turkish artists abroad. She was there for three months. Her visa expired, she returned to İstanbul to extend it. At May 31st, that night she was supposed to go to Ankara. She has called my mom and said "I'll leave my winter clothes and take the summer ones". But unfortunately she couldn't make it to Ankara…
How involved she was in politics?
- She was not affiliated with any political party or organisation. She was only affiliated with National Geographic…


She had two brain surgeries, remained in coma for 24 days
How did you get informed on what was happening?
- Lobna’s old flat mate called, "Fatin, Lobna get wounded in Gezi, they are taking her to surgery now" she said.
At first I couldn't grasp the severity of the situation. I thought something happened to her arm or leg. I get off the office, I was trying to arrange ticket to go to İstanbul. When I arrived home, I saw all my friends were there. They were trying to keep the phone away from me. It turned out that the heart breaking photos of Lobna had started to get published, and they were trying to prevent me from checking Facebook. I got suspicious from their anxiety; I called my cousin in Istanbul. I told her "Check what's the situation". When she called back she was crying out loud: "Lobna was hit with a tear-gas canister, she was transported to hospital with severe trauma. There was an open brain surgery. Doctor's expectation on her survival is 20%!" she said.
Oooohh! What did you do?
- I was shocked. I stood still. I lost feelings on my legs, I started shaking all over. My friends made me lay down. After some time I recovered, I took a plane, came to İstanbul. Lobna was in intensive care…
FRACTURED BONES, PUNCTURED BRAIN
What did the doctors say?

- Her skull got fractured by the canister, the bone fragments punctured brain, her brain got swollen. They took her to surgery to remove a large part of skull to reduce inner pressure. Bleeding started, they drained the blood. Attached her to machine for life support. They were keeping her in induced coma. They said "Her risk of not surviving is very high. Anything can happen in any minute" and our crucifying wait had started. Unavoidably I had to inform my mother too.
When you first saw her…

- She was sleeping with her head in banages. In less than 24 hours the other side started to bleed too. That one was the heavier operation. They said, if they were late by half an hour, it would be too late. The door to intensive care unit got opened and Lobna emerged, she is a 47 kilos tiny woman, her body was twice the size, swollen, as was her head …



Why this would happen, they said?
- Edema, the body is reacting. Her eyes are naturally very big, when her brain got swollen; her eyes were completely off their sockets. As she was connected to life support, they had to detach her from the machine; to bring her to emergency surgery they had attached something like a pump to her intubation, manually pumping air, it was making an awful sound. What I saw was not my sister, she was someone completely different, how she looked was really terrifying. "We have to take her to surgery. Her mortality rate is very high. If we don't operate on her she will surely die but during surgery she may die too" they said. They gave me a piece of paper, made me sign that I accept all responsibility. Thank God I had send my mother home, if she had seen Lobna like that, she would surely die from a heart attack.
At that moment, what were you thinking?
- “She died” I said, “They are stalling, lying to us. She is dead!" This is such a pain that in my life I never experienced anything like that. Who lies was not Lobna… My only support, play mate, sister… How much I loved her, it turned out. You understand at that moment. You live the point where emotional pain turns into physical pain. My bones were aching, my heart was hurting…
Then?
- They said "We drained the hemorrhage". The most sensitive, least understood organ in body, brain, and police tore one side of it into pieces, and the surgeons were messing with other side to save her life. A few hours later doctors came back. "What happened?" I said. "We are bringing her to tomography!" he said. "Why?" I asked, they said "one of the pupils is more dilated than the other". And what that was supposed to mean? Obviously there was something else wrong with her brain! Another surgery? No. I felt as if I was being stabbed with knives all over my body. I couldn't talk; I couldn't breathe; as if I was paralyzed. Hours later the doctor came back, said "Her eye got better, we will wait now". We waited, exactly 24 days…
PERMANENT DAMAGE
Do you get into a fantasy like "When my sister wakes up everything will be as it was"?
- Yes, you get. She'll wake up and say "Hello". We will happily go together to home. But doctors were speaking of risks every time. On the other hand, I can't emphasize enough how much the doctors operating on her, intensive care unit nurses and other hospital staff were helpful and attentive. I want to give them life from my life. It was told that 80% of these kind of patients are lost on the way before arriving to hospital; and 10% during the surgery or the following day.


On what matters they warned you for when she woke up?
- She may stay paralyzed or it may be a temporary paralysis. Loss of sense may remain after physiotherapy. She may not be able to speak. She may have to spend the rest of her life as a patient to be taken care of in house. I've been told all these possibilities.
What's the situation now?
- There is a brain damage, that's for sure. But how much of it is permanent, how much of it is temporary, this is yet to be determined. They say that it won't be determined in less than a year.
Nerve center for speech got damaged SHE CAN'T SPEAK ANYMORE
What happened when she first woke up?
- She didn't recognize me. The only person she can recognize was my mother. Her right side was paralyzed and she couldn't speak. As she hadn't eaten anything for 25 days she had lost 10kg. She already was 47kg to begin with. All her back was bed sore. As they had removed bones from skull her head had become hollow. It still is. She has no hair. There are stitches all over her head. But at least she is alive and we are very happy.
PARALIZED ON RIGHT SIDE
How do you communicate?
- At first she had no voice, now she can make whispering like sounds. Unfortunately her nerve center for speech is damaged, she can't talk. We are optimistic, her doctors are too. Lobna is somewhere in that body; but because of brain damage she comes back slowly…
Doesn't it stress her not to be able to speak?
- Wouldn't it? First five days she was very irritable. Now she is constantly crying. Sometimes she doesn't sleep for more than 72 hours. She tries to explain everything with hand signs. She is asking "Why I can't walk?", "Why my head is like that?", "Why I can't raise my arm?", "What happened to me?".
Did you tell her?
- Of course. Like 50 times. But she forgets. Still she will be better each day. I want to believe in this. Two days ago I said "Let's brush your teeth". We managed to bring her to rest room somehow, she saw herself on the mirror…
What did she do?
- She was scared so much. She cried a lot; and I told her "We never lied to you. You know your head swelled a lot and then they removed a bone from there and this time that part become hollow. You have a temporary loss of sense on your right side, you have problems on your speech center in brain and some problems with vocal cords, but those might recover". Now while brushing her teeth she look at herself on the mirror and sighs. Every day she gets better; but she will never be the same Lobna again…
What kind of system you devised?
- I won't work for a long time. I'll be with my older sister, I believe this will benefit her much more than physiotherapy.
It's difficult for you too…
- She was my older sister, now became my baby. I take care of her happily; and she puts as much effort as she can to get better. She is still very sensitive. She gets embarrassed, she apologize. She thinks that she puts us in trouble when we take her to restroom.
KEEP HER IN YOUR PRAYERS
Do you say "I wish she never went to Taksim that day."?
- No, never. We support her being there. Lobna was not doing anything illegal there. She was using her constitutional right, her freedom to express herself…
Is there anything that we can do for Lobna?
- Send us your positive energy. Send us your love and prayers. I'm sure that one day she will be reading all these and will be thanking you.
Do you say "It is fate, what can one do", or "Some people applying violence ruined my sisters life"?
- I'm not a fatalist; I can't say "You have to endure whatever happens to you". We have to be strong and hang on to life; so that we can give strength to Lobna too. She is a strong woman. She will make it. One thing that would upset me, even devastate me would be Lobna losing her joy of life.
Is it possible for her not to lose joy of life with that much loss?
- Of course. Let it be that she can't speak or use her arm. She has so many positive values that she would compensate for those shortcomings. I don't believe that someone who takes on hunger strike for others, someone who say "Do not demolish our park, do not touch our way of life!" would lose joy of life after getting through so many thing…
I put on gas mask
While I was waiting for her on intensive care unit corridors, there were times that I had put on gas mask; because they launched tear gas canisters to hospital's courtyard. Thank God gas can't arrive to intensive care unit, they have a special ventilation system; but I got ruined. Especially I got very scared when they said that polices came in to hospital courtyard; I took stand on intensive care unit door as I felt as if they were going to take away my sister…
I started crying when they spoke of Ethem
While she was in coma, I cried a lot in 24 days. At the end it was as if my tear ducts got dried out. Now I stand strong by her, I don't cry at all. Only one time, I said "there are 7000 wounded and 5 dead"; I started crying while telling about Ethem Sarısülük. I thought about those families. We suffered too but at least my sister is alive. I can't imagine those who lost their children, I don't know how they keep going with their lives. May God give them patience and strength.
Those who say “Police was epic” should come and see Lobna
While you were here with your sister struggling for life or death, Prime Minister said “Police was epic”, and Melih Gökçek put up a banner saying thank you to police. What did you feel when you witnessed these?
- It felt very bad, very cruel.
Yes police was epic, let them come and see the epic they’ve created, Lobna. If there are any policemen who see what's been done to Lobna or other kids and still happy with what they did, I leave them alone with their conscience.
They considered even a 'Get well soon' too much!
Nobody called either me, or my mother. They ignored us. Neither an apology, nor a get well soon. Maybe that's why they manipulate so much who Lobna is and where she is from. Maybe they thought if she were a foreigner it would hurt Turkish public's conscience less? What it would change if she were a foreigner? She was a kid on the street. With shorts, shirt and light shoes. Not a terrorist exchanging fire with police, or an anarchist. A human who is sitting in Cihangir on a summer day and saying “Don't touch my park, Don't touch my lifestyle!”. She is just sitting; then you come and shoot her. You make her suffer unimaginable pains. You leave her with a very hard memory that can't be forgotten in a lifetime and don't even call to say "Get well soon, how have you become?". Is this humanity? Maybe they were afraid of our reaction or maybe I'm too naive and they think “They got what they deserved”… -Ayşe ARMAN , Hürriyet

http://www.hurriyet.com.tr/yazarlar/23670661.asp