PLEASE OPEN UP YOUR EARS AND LISTEN US, HEAR US, ACCEPT OUR PRESENCE

On an unexpected moment, in an unexpected way, by unexpected people, history has been written in İstanbul, in Gezi Park…

And after the applied unproportionate violance, it grew in a lot of cities, lot of districts. Unbelievable things have happened… Cases of violance of unbelievable ferocity…

What was it needed for? Why couldn't it concluded to happiness abruptly just like it did in Brasil… Why couldn't be no name calling 'Çapulcu', no use of tear gas and rubber bullets, why they couldn't let the youth do their protest on their tents and leave… it didn't happen. And what's left to us is to collect and compile hopeful but painful and sad stories for future. The witnessing of youth that keeps on since days is still continuing today…

"I WISH THEY FIRED TO MY LEG INSTEAD OF MY EYE"

-----------------------------------------------

Your name?

- Mahir.

Age?

- 22. I'm studying at Agriculture Faculty at Aydın. I came to Istanbul for a few days. My childhood friend Serkan said that he'll be going to Gezi, and I said "I'll come too". I didn't wanted to leave my friend alone. We went.

Were you in the park?

- Yes. There was crowded. Full of life. It had a festive atmosphere. We were looking for a friend of ours. We had our sea goggles with us to be safe. We were at 30m from Gezi. There was a crowded group ahead of us, we were at the very end of that crowd. It was an environment where everybody was happy, young people were laughing, joking around, just like a university cafeteria. Suddenly cops rushed from back alleys. We didn't understood what was happening as we were at the very back of group. There was a tremendous panic, everybody were trying to escape. Just in a moment we were under attack of rubber bullets and tear gas. At that moment I put on my sea goggles.

Where were Serkan?

- Just in front of me. At that moment I heard a "crack" sound, suddenly something hit my sea goggles and it fell into pieces. I felt a sharp pain like a knife entering my body but I couldn't figure out what happened to which side of my body. Blood began to pour from my face. People seeing my face were in horror. Yet, all my concern was not to die. I was running left and right without knowing what to do just for not to die.

Did you see the policeman who fired?

- I couldn't see his face properly but I saw him fire from very close range. We started to run with Serkan to flee from this crossfire. We jumped over the barricade.

How were you able to do these with your eye in that condition?

- When it's your life at stake, you do. At that moment, all that matters was to survive. At some point I noticed that all my tshirt was covered in blood. There was a stretcher behind the barricade, they put me over it and carried to ambulance while yelling "there is wounded, wounded". At the same moment police attacked again to Gezi. Furthermore Serkan has asthma. While they were trying to rush me to the ambulance, those trying to escape from attack were running towards us. Then I found myself at Taksim First Aid Hospital.

What did they do at hospital?

- They cleaned my face. They pointed a light towards my eye, and asked can you see this? I said "No". They took a brain CAT scan and chest film, afterwards they had nothing more they could do there and they transfered me to Beyoğlu Ophtalmology Hospital. Another doctor examined me there. He was young. He told me "You are not going to be able to see anymore!" as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Thank God, I'm a calm person. And I never want to upset anybody. Serkan was already devastated at that point, he fainted, they opened an IV line on him and gave a serum drip.

What was the first thing that came to your mind when they said "You lost your eye"?

- How am I going to tell this to my parents. Because I knew they were going to be very sorry. But there is no way to tell this without making people sad. Serkan told what happened to my dad, not to my mom, so he came. But they couldn't be the same again since that day.

Did you get an operation?

- Yes, at Beyoğlu Ophtalmology Hospital they operated on me the next day. The operator was a very understanding professor. He told me that maybe I may have hope of seeing again. Considering there were people who lost their lives, I guess I can consider my self lucky. The only thing I can say on this subject is: I wish they fired to my leg, insted of my eye…

"ALL I WANTED WAS TO PAY MY ELECTRICITY BILL"

---------------------------------------------

Name?

- Selim.

Age?

- 23.

What have you gone through?

- What happened to me is a little bir weird. Last monday, I was going for paying my electricity bill, but I got taken under custody.

How come?

- I didn't knew the exact place, I had two friends with me. People told us "it's behind Habertürk building", we looked around there. We saw some folks there, I asked "Sir, Where is Bedaş?", he asked "What are you going to do?", I said "We are going to pay our bill". All of a sudden, he said "Show your ID!". It turned out they were undercover cops. We showed our IDs. We didn't have anything suspicious on us like gas mask or anything… They took us under custody!

On what grounds?

- I had card of LGBT on my pocket. They took us for having a stall on Gezi Park.

Haven't you asked "What's the relation"?

- I asked, they didn't listen. That day even people going out to purchase bread have been taken under custody. Ofcourse we were buffled. They hit my friend beside me, they hit him on the neck.

Why?

- Because he said “We are not member of any organization, we are LGBT”. They beat him while saying “How can you be a f.g? How can you live such an unhonorable life!". Then they took the three of us to Police Headquarters on Vatan Street. There we were asked again "Which organization are you member of?", I said "Not an organization or political party, We are LGBT". The officer asked me "What is LGBT?", I said "Support group of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender/Transvestite people". Suddenly he got mad, He said "Aren't you a man? How can you be attracted to a man!". Afterwards they said "You are gay, you would have sex" and put us in a separate cell while everybody else was detained in a common cell. It was very humiliating. Normal duration limit for holding in custody is 24 hours, they kept us detained 36 hours. They didn't give us food or water. They acted as if we were terorists. They performed psychological violence to us. When our lawyers arrived, they released us. Now I wonder, what was my offense? All I wanted was to pay my electricity bill…

AS IF WE WERE AT WAR

--------------------

My name is Ferda... Word "Ferda" means "tomorrow" or "future". That's why I was one of the protestors at Gezi. For beautiful days, sunny tomorrows and free future. In this 17 days, there, we had wonderful days at the tent my brother had built. My brother Mehmet is a medicine student, he was on call at the infirmary at Gezi. At June 11th I called my brother many times but he didn't answer. When I was going to Taksim after work I received his message telling "I'm fine but it's bad around here. Don't come in any circumstance, there are wounded…" Was it possible for me not to go? I left office, and went straight to Gezi. In front of Diven Hotel Police was literally fighting with some young people as if it was a war! At least 2000 people were shouting slogans in front of Divan, tear gas canisters were constantly thrown towards entrance of Gezi Park by Divan Otel, and a car was being set on fire meanwhile. Gas and smoke was everywhere. I went and bought a mask and goggles from a street vendor. I plunged towards Gezi through the smoke and went straight to infirmary. My brother was attending a patient trying to breathe through entubation. He was a little mad when he saw me but even then he didn't have time for me. There were still patients waiting for medical attention on triage and new wounded arriving. He said "A boy was brought in the morning. His name was Evren; his skull was fructured to pieces. He had a tag on his neck stating that he was an organ donor. I performed the first intervention, then we transfered him to hospital. Hope he recovers, he was in a critical condition". It was as if he was going to cry if I touch, so I couldn't... In front of my eyes were a girl whose head was split open, a boy whose leg was being stitched, another one burned with acidified water from TOMA vehicle… Then I started to help my brother like an assistant, using my knowledge of medications from the days I volunteered on an infirmary. "Bring the cooler, there is no anti-acid solution left, prepare diluted Talcid.", meanwhile Mom was calling "We are watching from Halk TV, they are throwing gas bombs to square, police are entering Gezi, they demolished the library. Where are you? Get out of there, come home!" she said. I say "We are OK mom, we are at the infirmary" and rush to hangup the phone while she was still saying "but TV shows them throwing tear gas to infirmary". People shouting "Stretcher, stretcher…" Wounded start to pour, heads and eyes cut open… "Stitch… Who is available to stitch?", "Bring entubation… Roll a mat to the floor… No more bed available… Bandage… Neck Brace…" those were the sounds I heard. It was as if we were literally at war! A child my age arrives, with arms streched on both sides, he says "don't touch, I'm burning". They cut open his tshirt to remove it, apply coolant spray and lotion. Kid is still burning, all over his body. They take him inside, he takes off his pants. He is left totaly nude. The critical burns are below his waist… We call ambulance, his friends arrive, they cover him with a thin sheet and transfer him. Meanwhile tear gas keep being fired non-stop. At that moment my brother removes a rubber bullet from the leg of a young boy from Çarşı, once again blood covers everywhere, boy has his head cut open too but hadn't noticed, blood on his hairs, my brother gets puzzled where to stitch next. Cops, primeminister, ministers have lost sense… Governor who assured "There will be no police intervention!" while addressing press also lost all sense… We trusted him, believed him, but what did he do?, what kind of withering of conscience is this! My anger is much larger than his chair, his money, his world! For making me suffer, for making thousands of people suffer… For making my mother cry on the phone… For Ethem, For Evren, For those who died, For thousands who got wounded… It's 12am, Gezi is resisting, humanity is dying… On one side at the entrance of square the equipments and medications at Gezi infirmary are being carried to infirmary established in front of Divan Hotel from hand to hand. Along with songs, applauses and slogans… They are launching tear gas, but no body seems to care. We resisted all night long, it passed liked this, wounded, ambulances… I saw crying doctors… I cried, for my beautiful country, for my future… But then I stood straight, I said "If you want a free future, keep resisting!", "My name is Ferda, future is me, us…"

"I'M THE CORE OF 'THE OTHER ONE'"

Name?
- Kaya.

Education?
- I graduated from medical school. I'm generalist medical doctor.

How and when you joined this movement?
- I was in it since the begining. Park is just beside my house. I heard the trees being but down. I started going there everyday after work. Afterwards, the violance events that everybody knows have occured. I got my share of tear gas bombs on May 31st. I have chronic bronchitis, also I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. My first contact with gas was around Talimhane. All of a sudden I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt as I was dying. I barely found a place to take cover, and barely made it. Till that day I was a 'supporter', after that day I became a 'resistor'.

When you decided to support this as a doctor as well?
- When I saw how hopeless people were against this unproportionate attacks. There was an infirmary that I work at Talimhane. I asked the owner "A lot of people are in great distress, we need to help them, can we use this clinic?", He said "Sure". Then I started to provide emergency medical attention to people who got trapped at that area.

To whom?
- For example a 50 year old woman with asthma. She was severly exposed to gas, she was on the brink of asphyxiation, I carried her to clinic, gave her oxygene. Then to people who got shot with rubber bullets on arms and legs. I stitched a guy whose earlobe was detached, his ear was bleeding to inside, I performed a closing stitch on open tissue and transported him to hospital emergency. I performed first aid to someone who was sprayed tear gas directly to the face in very short distance. Those people were neither able to open their eyes, nor properly breathe. Lots of youngsters with chemical burns, fractures, respiratory failures… The cases of cheek bone fractures, those who lost their eyes… I felt compelled to attend to all wounded with no discrimination on religion, language, race, sex, political opinion. I was going to help Policemen too; which I eventually did…

Were you expecting such a violence?
- Ofcourse not.

How would you describe the atmosphere at Gezi?
- I was formidable. Everybody was there as a color of its own. Everybody had different sub-identities. There I came together with groups which I never thought I could empathise with.

Like?
- Like nationalists (ulusalcilar). I couldn't believe in my dream that we can understand and tolerate each other; but it happened. I'm Kurdish, gay and Christian. As you can see I'm the core of "the other one"! Being together with nationalists made me uncomfortable during first days. But as I got closer, I saw that they weren't that bad. We listened to each other, we chatted. The sympathy we created there as LGBT individuals was important. People noticed that gays do not consist solely of something 'sexual'. Gezi became an education process for all of us. Our tolerance towards each other, and conscience for nature and environment has improved on all of us. I find this very important. There was an unprecedented sharing which I have never seen before.

Some kind of 'revolution of consciousness'?
- Yes. In a classical sense something different from what socialists and communists mean with 'revolution'. 'Revolution' is not strictly overthrowing a government. Forcing the political government to wake up is also a kind of revolution. This was what we were trying to do. What we were trying to say was very simple: "Please open up your ears and listen to us! Hear us, accept our presence. With your policies you are constantly pushing us away, suppresing us. Stop doing this!"

What about last saturday…
- Once again the same scenario. Nobody was expecting an attack. Taksim Support Group (Taksim Dayanışması) connected live from square at 3am after speaking with Prime Minister. They said "We have spoken with Prime Minister. Per our communication there will be no intervention of any kind to Gezi before Supreme Court makes a ruling or results of a referendum appers". With the ease of this news, people left behind their protective equipment. This is the main reason why more people got wounded on that tear gas attack. They got cought completely off guard. If they could wait two more hours, everything would be already over by itself. Governor was saying "Hopefully I'll come to drink your tea". Banners were taken down, people had returned to a festive atmosphere, it was then they attacked…

What did you do?
- I took my bag, but couldn't bring my oxygene tube. Haven't got a chance; because they directly entered inside the tent. We were rşght in the middle of park, they attacked from both sides. It was impossible to see around. There were many without masks. People were going to crush each other. Thank God, people there had learned how to behave in such situation by being gassed for last 20 days. Everybody was warning each other; "Don't run, keep calm!". When they managed to get out of the park they once again got exposed to violance. Everywhere was full of people. We took shelter on a hotel nearby. First they let us in, then they said "You have to get out. Police have spoken with us, they say they won't intervene". If you take us in, why you kick us out later? I helped a lot of people there. Then we got kicked out. We walked a little, then again got tear gassed. One end of attack at Elmadağ, other end at Sisli, they launched so much gas that thousands of people got devastated. We were forced to took shelter on a friends house at Harbiye. Tear gas was launched all night long on back alleys.

Hadn't you got affraid?
- Not being affraid?! Ofcourse I got affraid alot. But down the street there was a wounded. He was lying on his side. He had both chemical burn and an open cut on his leg. With whatever I could find at my friend's house, some antibiotic lotion, a piece of sheet, I got down to him, cleaned his wound. Took him up on his feet and carried him to a safer place…